That's all folks

I think I'm done with this blog. It's neat having a record of what's interested me over the past 5 years, but I'm getting bored with it. I think I want more of a conversation and sites like Facebook are better for that.

I'll leave you, my tens of readers, with a funny comment from the Calculated Risk blog.

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

Quantum of Bonds

I appreciate a good trailer mashup, even if they're messing with Bond. This is from the people behind Journey at the Center of the Earth and Battle of the Batmans among others.

Via FilmDrunk

Get Your War On

Bailout?! and Sarah Palin and the Rape Kits are my favorites. Yes rape is a serious subject, but that's point - know your candidates. I would hope the reality would be more shocking than the comic.

The US election is much more interesting entertaining than ours.

Water Shrews

Collider webcams

Who knew the world's largest and highest-energy particle accelerator would be so boring.

The latest Croshaw

YC's reviews just keep getting more entertaining. As long as I've got these, who needs to play the actual games to have a good time?

Richard Dawkins reads his hate mail

Religulous

I'm really looking forward to seeing this movie

New Pixar Short

Presto

Why Dilbert, why?

The Dilbert site was recently overhauled. This Slashdot post covers the general reaction: Dilbert Goes Flash, Readers Revolt.

Gone is the old, rather clunky but perfectly functional, website, replaced by a Flash-heavy website that only Mordac the Preventer of Information Services could love. Users have been pretty unanimous in condemning the changes. Among the politer comments: 'Congrats. Vista is no more lonely at the top in the Competition For The Worst Upgrade In Computing Industry, this web site upgrade being a serious contender.'

More here and in the comments on the site itself like:

You have got to be kidding me. It takes 4 clicks to read a sunday strip? How did this ever seem like a good idea? You should have professionals design your website. This looks like a "look-what-I-can-do" theme site created by a novice intern who just learned how to use Flash.

Personally I agree that the site's usability is worse, if only for the slow loading flash. For me, the big new feature where readers can rewrite the strips is useless. I couldn't care less what the random public thinks is funny. Like many people I want to go to read the strip easily every morning and catch up easily on missed strips, like the weekends on Monday morning.

Thankfully, the design does seem to have one huge positive, an RSS feed. For some reason it's not promoted on the site itself so I had to learn about it from some blog post I found while searching for people trashing the new design. I'll always take a feed over a daily site visit and now I can completely avoid Dilbert.com. So only because of the feed I REALLY LIKE THE NEW DESIGN - assuming the feed remains as is - which, as with most good things, it almost certainly won't.

Jimmy takes it up a notch

Challenge, hilarious:

Response, epic:

Da Merc

Spot-on.

Rug

What a mystery, I wonder what it could it be then

So let me get this straight...

• There is a known condition that can make your skin blue if you ingest silver
• This man is ingesting silver on purpose
• This man now has blue skin
• But he swears it's not because of the silver he's ingesting

Thinking Man

As seen in the 20 minute presentation, The paradox of choice

Golden Compass Hysteria

The Catholic League in the US has advised families to stay away from the film, and critics have accused the author of "candy-coated atheism."

Which is BS. Not because they're fear is unfounded (and it is):

The main message was so convoluted, there was no serious atheistic content, and it didn't seem obvious that they [the Magisterium] were religious in a way that I understand it.

But because suppressing ideas is wrong. No surprise though, because that's religion. At least there's the irony that by speaking against the movie they are, in fact, promoting it.

For a good take on the hysteria I close with the Landover Baptist Church. I like how you can't even be sure right away if it's satire...

We now live in a world where we have to constantly worry about our children being presented with abhorrent, new ideas that are slightly different than the stuff our parents forced us to believe.

A HANDY COMPARISON TIP SHEET FOR CONCERNED CHRISTIAN PARENTS

The Golden Compass teaches children that bears can talk.

The Bible makes it factually clear to children that only snakes (Genesis 3:1) and donkeys (Numbers 22:30) can talk.

And more...

Update: The Onion: Protests Over The Golden Compass

When Cartoonists Fight

... we all win. The Superest. Start at the bottom.

Silly Thog

This comic makes me laugh, but the sad reality is how many people have died over the centuries because of that disagreement.

The only sandwich fit for The King

On the 30th anniversary of Elvis' passing, I'm reminded of his favorite 42,000 calorie sandwich, the Fool's Gold Loaf.

• 1 loaf Italian white bread
• 2 tbsps butter
• 1 lb lean bacon
• 1 jar smooth peanut butter
• 1 jar grape jelly
• Serves: Elvis (8-10 people)

On the night of February 1, 1976, Elvis Presley was at his home Graceland in Memphis, Tennessee entertaining Capt. Jerry Kennedy of the Denver Colorado police force, and Ron Pietrafeso of Colorado's Strike Force Against Crime. The three men began discussing the sandwich and Elvis decided he wanted one right then.

...so they were driven to the Memphis airport and boarded Elvis's private jet, the Lisa Marie, and flew the two hours to Denver. When they arrived in Denver at 1:40 AM, the plane taxied to a special hangar where the passengers were greeted by the owner of the Colorado Mine Company, Buck Scott, and his wife Cindy who had brought 22 fresh Fool's Gold Loaves for the men. They spent three hours in the hangar eating the sandwiches, washing them down with Perrier and Champagne.

Thanks to Thrillist. See their page for the recipe.

The Best Robotman! Yet

Donald Rumsfeld's Diary

Later I told her about the cabinet meetings we used to have, where Dick Cheney would repeatedly table a motion for a ‘Show of hands for everyone who thinks Powell has a vagina.’

Robotman! goes car shoping

How to Buy a Used Car

If you walk onto a car lot without knowing specifically what you want, there’s a good chance that a salesman will talk you into buying something that’s not what you really need. This is how most Saturns are sold.

New blog: Casey Serin TimelineGuy

I've started a new blog: Casey Serin TimelineGuy. All I do is copy & paste any comment TimelineGuy posts on Casey's blog.

• Who is Casey Serin? The wikipedia entry on him is a good start.
• Who is TimelineGuy? A funny commenter on Casey's blog who pretends to be Casey and posts a fictional story that is similar to Casey's and uses his mannerisms.

In other words, TimelineGuy jokes and Casey is the joke.

Superbowl Commercials 2007

http://www.youtube.com/superbowl

A non-pilotless drone

Correct Me If I'm Wrong...: "Pilotless Drone"

Years ago I handled emails for a somewhat popular website (about 1.5 mil unique visitors a month), so I can related to the bizarre rants that some people have to offer.

I do not envy my close family members who are in the social services. I know that to them, this is nothing.

Update: Is Matt Groening Messing With Us?

China: Superpower

Why China's Missile Test Is Troubling. A good Time article about how the Chinese recently destroyed a satellite. This is important because the US military relies on its satellites.

The U.S. dependence on its technological edge is considerable: Green explains that in recent joint exercises held with the Indian Air Force, less technologically advanced Russian Sukhoi jets defeated American F-15s when the latter were deprived of support from satellite and AWACs systems.

But where China is really emerging as a superpower isn't their military, "It's the economy, stupid". I'll let this humorous video explain:

Robotman! is Canadian?

Tee Hee, stories of our friends on the west coast dealing with real winter are always a source of amusement to us in Calgary. And when the writer of said story is the oft-hilarious Robotman, well, read on: Digging out the car.

After about five minutes of toiling away on the back window I had managed to clear off basically none of it. Frustrated, I declared on the spot that “rearward visibility is for girls” and moved around to the front of the car to try my luck there.

Your 'Cheap and tacky' Wedding (A Harsh Lesson in PR)

Jilted marquee company's revenge turns sour. Steve Hausman emailed Great Marquee Company saying he and fiancee Paula Brosnahan would not require the company's services for their wedding:

Hi Klaus, Paula and I went and viewed your marquee setup at Devonport the other weekend and unfortunately we did not like it.So this is just to let you know we will not require your services on 7 April 2007. Thanks for your assistance and we are sorry that it turned out this way although we are glad we looked at the marquee prior to booking as that would have been a huge disappointment. Regards Steve Hausman

The reply:

Hi Steve, Thanks for your reply. Your wedding sounded cheap, nasty and tacky anyway, so we only ever considered you time wasters. Our marquees are for upper class clients which unfortunately you are not. Why don't you stay within your class level and buy something from payless plastics instead. Kindest Regards Katrina Office Manager

And, of course, this has now spread across the Internet. Whoops. LOL. But it gets better:

In an even better twist, the bitter-tongued staff member, who was promptly fired after the email came to light, is, reportedly, also the CEO's wife.

Panda sneeze

After that downer I need a pick-me-up funny animal video:

White and Nerdy

Kirk vs Picard, editing wikipedia, math for fun, ace at trivia, tea, fluent in JavaScript, my beloved ergonomic keyboard, mowing the lawn, ... Damn, I think that could be me. And I did have a web company, and I did collect X-Men, and I was in an A/V club in high school, and they want HTML I'm the one they call... And we have at least one Escher up in the house... And I've had some pretty high minesweeper scores... And I do go online for deals on recordable media...

This is... nuts

Say this tongue twister, or else...

Hoover Dam

One of sites I feed on every day is The Housing Bubble Blog. Even better than the article are the comments. Today it was Las Vegas and one user had a nice comment on the water and power problem:

Right, LV gets a lot of power from the Colorado River. Here's how the river's usage is divided up:

California 50%
Nevada 50%
Arizona 50%

Yah, and Mexico gets what's left over.

This gigantic scientist will devour us all!

Ted Stevens defends his ignorant view of the Internet. If you still haven't you should watch Jon Stewart's hilarious analysis.

I have a letter from a big scientist who said I was absolutely right in using the word 'tubes'.

Good Herman Today

Every once and a Herman comes along that tickles me right where I itch.

Hey look, free money

Here they are

2006 Super Bowl Commercials at AOL Sports

Overall pretty lame game commercial-wise. My picks for the best:

1. 2nd quarter: Careerbuilder Monkeys
2. 2nd quarter: Michelobe Tackle
3. 1st quarter: Ameriquest Hospital
4. 2nd quarter: Sprint Locker Room
5. 3rd quarter: Taco Bell Good To Go (because of Adam West)

T-Shirts

"Don't trash the stache", classic. Even better:

Best domain names

www.penisland.net

Welcome to Pen Island, the best place to get custom made pens on the internet!

www.whorepresents.com

Who Represents? Enter the name of an AGENT, MANAGER, PUBLICIST or ATTORNEY and then click 'search'

www.therapistfinder.com

Therapist Finder can help you locate one or more qualified, licensed professionals, including Marriage and Family Therapists

And my personal favorite:
www.molestationnursery.com

David & Sarah Caldwell welcome you to Mole Station Native Nursery

Pop vs. Soda vs. Robots

US map of soft drink names:


And, totally unrelated, this video about robot insurance is pretty funny.

Animal comedy

2 pictures that made me smile today

Katrina quotes

Political humor: Stupid Quotes About Hurricane Katrina. Sad because it's true. Some of my favorites:

"Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?" House Majority Leader Tom Delay (R-TX), to three young hurricane evacuees from New Orleans at the Astrodome in Houston

"We finally cleaned up public housing in New Orleans. We couldn't do it, but God did." Rep. Richard Baker (R-LA) to lobbyists

"Louisiana is a city that is largely under water." Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff

"I also want to encourage anybody who was affected by Hurricane Corina to make sure their children are in school." First Lady Laura Bush, twice referring to a "Hurricane Corina"

"I don't want to alarm everybody that, you know, New Orleans is filling up like a bowl. That's just not happening." -Bill Lokey, FEMA's New Orleans coordinator, in a press briefing from Baton Rouge, Aug. 30, 2005

"This is the largest disaster in the history of the United States, over an area twice the size of Europe." Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska)

Also, Late-Night Jokes About the Botched Response to Hurricane Katrina

And to Senator Stevens, Europe is a million square kilometers bigger than the US.

Is Christopher Walken running for US President in 2008?

Oh I hope it's true.

Fräulein Ravenwood, let me show you what I am used to...

Are Google and Microsoft fighting over that creepy guy from Raiders of the Lost Ark?

Like Mr. Burns and his trillion dollar bill (Thanks Tom)

Putin pockets Patriots owner's Super Bowl ring

Rick Mercer has a blog

And it's pretty good so far. Canadian politics are funny in a sort of "pathetic" way, but I'll gladly take that over the US politics that are funny in a sort of "four horsemen of the apocalypse" way.

Triumph, my second favorite dog

Triumph vs the Michael Jackson Supporters. Oh man that's funny.

Unintentional comedy

Microsoft, the ultimate straight man, explains 133t5p33k. Imagine Bob Saget teaching explaining what today's kids think is cool.

Anti-telemarketing script

I love those times on Seinfeld when Jerry got back at the telemarketers. Of course, as a fictional character in a TV show, Jerry had the advantage of planning out what to say. In real life your up against someone who has a carefully developed script and response list that makes it very hard to talk your way off nicely. Really your only quick and painless option is to hang-up, but even against these hated telemarketers I find that hard. A "cold" hang-up just goes against the telephone etiquette conscience built up in the back of my mind. Well now there's a solution, the EGBG anti-telemarketing counterscript. A taste of their own medicine.

1954: What a home computer will look like in 2004

From manalang.com:

Scientists from the RAND Corporation have created this model to illustrate how a “home computer” could look like in year 2004

It's a fake picture (see source pictures here and here), but still funny.

Computer Stupidities

This site has "a large collection of stories and anecdotes about clueless computer users". As a usability nut I think computers are too complicated, especially all the esoteric terms. However that's no excuse when the clueless person is claiming to be an expert. Of course even the ones where the user makes an understandable mistake are still funny to us evil geeks...

I'm in 386 enchanted mode.

Bush vs. Kerry - It's funny 'cause it's true

If you find humor in US politics, I know you'll enjoy This video.

Cats... ha ha

Cats, of course, are easier to make fun of. The cutest cat is still a freak. Where dogs are sympathetic, almost tragic, figures, cats are pure comedy. Dogs are your buddies, cats are entertainment. They're like a TV show. There's nothing funnier than when a cat falls of something. When a dog falls down a couple of stairs, you rush to it and console it But when a cat does it, it's funny - you point at it an laugh (which they don't like, incidentally).

My thoughts exactly :) That's Darby Conley (the artist) in the preface of Groovitude: A Get Fuzzy Treasury which just came today from Amazon.

The last angry programmer

I just discovered a funny blog, causticTech. Actually, it's probably only funny to those of us in the IT industry, but the child in you might still giggle at all the swearing. I can relate to his comedy because the company I work for hired BlunderMan a few years ago. Thankfully he only lasted a month.

What if... The Lord of the Rings was made in Hong Kong?

I'm not sure exactly where these came from, but here's some more. I imagine it's more funny to people who know the actors. Am I right Allan? Tai?

Map of Springfield

Finally, a complete map of the Simpson's home city. It's great to read some of the names like "Snuggler's Cove B&B", "New Bedlam Home for the Emotionally Interesting", "Veterans of Popular Wars".... It's all the little jokes that really sets the Simpsons apart from most of the stuff on TV.

While the placement of most locations is arbitrary, many are placed according to where they appear in relationship to each other in specific episodes of The Simpsons. In some cases 'one-time references' to specific locations have been disregarded in favor of others more often repeated. Due to the many inconsistencies among episodes, the map will never be completely accurate.

Well done Jerry Lerma and Terry Hogan. To paraphrase Mr. Hutz: "I don't use the word 'hero' very often, but you are the greatest heroes in American history".

Drawing cat toes

I'm a fan of Darby Conley's Get Fuzzy. I love the way he draws the cats & dogs, especialy the toes.